Holistic Review: ...Was there a story here?

After the surprising success of The Day of the Doctor, I allowed myself to hope that maybe this year's Christmas special would be more than a fluffy saccharine runaround. It hinges on a regeneration, after all, and that certainly did The End of Time a world of good. Unfortunately, my raised expectations have led to an even harder fall, because there's almost nothing of substance here. The narrative appears to have been made deliberately confusing in order to disguise the plot's shortcomings. On first viewing, I thought that perhaps I wasn't following the plot so well because my dad's girlfriend was on the phone in the same room, but rewatching it later that night didn't clear anything up, so I know it wasn't an ambient-noise issue.

Here's the thing: this is a 60-minute regeneration story in which essentially nothing happens. Can you tell me one useful thing that Clara does? Even the Doctor: does he contribute a single thing toward the resolution of the story? Basically, no. The "plot" of The Time of the Doctor is this: the Doctor unknowingly brings Clara to Trenzalore, where he decides that he is the only thing standing between the village and an assembled horde of monsters, so he hangs out for centuries defusing conflict after conflict until he eventually dies of old age.

Even the crux of the plot turns out to be completely discardable. For the past year, the arc has been building up to this moment. As Dorium says in The Wedding of River Song, "On the fields of Trenzalore, at the fall of the eleventh, when no living creature can speak falsely or fail to answer, a question will be asked: a question that must never, ever be answered." Yet when the Doctor finally hears the question, he very much fails to answer, and continues failing to answer the question for the rest of his life, even though it's heavily implied on their arrival in Christmas that the Doctor and Clara can't resist letting the truth field spill all their secrets. Why doesn't the truth field pull it out of him involuntarily? And why, if you're going to build up to this revelation for two years, do you then resolve the situation with a line like "His name is the Doctor. All the name he needs, everything you need to know about him." Aside from the fact that this is eye-rollingly self-important dialogue, it's also a total cop-out. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they didn't tell us the Doctor's real name — as I said in my review of The Name of the Doctor, wherein this situation was handled much better, there's almost no option that wouldn't have been a letdown — but I get the distinct feeling that Moffat, in his attempt to be epic, painted himself into a corner that he then couldn't get out of.

So let's tackle some of those confusing plot elements, shall we?

• Why does the Doctor bother trying to make friends on various spaceships? If the Papal Mainframe was the first on the scene, and they're the ones who established the barricade around the planet, and the Doctor is old friends with Tasha, then why didn't he start with her, rather than beaming himself onto random hostile alien ships for no evident purpose whatsoever? What's that going to accomplish, if none of them can get down to the planet anyway?

• Why exactly is everyone staying away from Trenzalore? On one hand, we're told that the Papal Mainframe is keeping everyone away from Trenzalore with their mighty barricade. But on the other hand, we're told that the only thing keeping all of the aliens away from the planet is their sense of dread about the mysterious signal. But on the other other hand, we're told that really, they all want to land on the planet, they just don't want to be first; but if anyone does land on Trenzalore, the others will immediately follow suit. And then we find out that, actually, the Weeping Angels have somehow gotten past their dread, and Tasha's barricade, and have landed on the planet, yet nobody at all has followed them. So is this barricade actually effective, or is it just a formality?

• Why does Tasha send the Doctor to Trenzalore? At first, she seems perfectly happy to sneak him down to the planet's surface as long as he doesn't take his TARDIS (although it's not clear what objection she has to its presence). Then, once the Doctor manages to translate the Mysterious Message, suddenly she's screaming at him "Doctor! Face me now!" and is panicked that he might inadvertently restart the Time War by setting the Time Lords free. If she knew that was a possibility, then shouldn't letting him go down to the planet have been the last thing that she and the Silence wanted? Or did she not realize, somehow, that this message on Trenzalore might be the message on Trenzalore that her religious order was so afraid of? And how come she's suddenly toeing Madame Kovarian's party line? Which reminds me:

• Whose side is the Papal Mainframe on? In A Good Man Goes to War, the Papal Mainframe and the Headless Monks were synonymous with the Silence's fight against the Doctor; but now we're being told that the "Kovarian faction" was a fringe splinter group and Tasha Lem is on the Doctor's side. Until she gets angry at him for daring to set foot on Trenzalore, then suddenly it looks like they might be on opposite sides. But that only lasts for a moment, as we'll see next.

• What's up with this siege of Trenzalore? Even if Tasha thinks that there's imminent danger of the Doctor blurting out his name, why must there be a siege of Trenzalore? For starters, shouldn't the Papal Mainframe be holding their shield around the planet? So there aren't any (or at least many) alien forces there, and the Doctor's taking care of the ones that do somehow make it through. Which also raises the question: if one or two can slip through, then why don't the assembled hordes simply rush the barrier and smash their way through? Who knows. But the fact remains, there's nobody on Trenzalore that the Papal Mainframe needs to fight. So why do they suddenly announce the commencement of battle? Why do they start chanting "Silence will fall!" without actually doing anything to bring about that end? And why, having announced a battle, do they immediately revert to the status quo of trying to maintain the peace by picking off anyone who manages to get through their barrier? What's the point in rattling the bars if they're not going to follow through? (Unless Tasha just means that others are about to try to start a war?) It feels like the desperate actions of a scriptwriter trying to generate tension where none exists. See also:

• What do the aliens want on Trenzalore? This was an issue earlier, when the Weeping Angels were the first to penetrate the Mainframe's barrier, yet rather than accomplishing anything with their lead, all they do is impersonate snow angels. The issue raises its head again when small groups of aliens start attacking Christmas. What are they trying to accomplish? Do they want to kill the Doctor? Do they want access to the crack in time? We're never told. We just know that the assembled hordes keep somehow infiltrating the barrier, throwing themselves at the village in tiny numbers, and being defeated. Do these aliens even know why they want to reach the surface of Trenzalore? Because I get the impression that everyone's just blowing hot air. Including Steven Moffat.

• Why does the Doctor have to stay on Trenzalore? The Doctor claims that his presence keeps the aliens away from the village, because they're afraid he'll summon the Time Lords and restart the Time War, but this seems to be demonstrably untrue. If that were the case, nobody would be attacking Christmas. But they do insist on threatening the village; so in their minds, what's to stop the Doctor from calling forth Gallifrey to save the town from their constant attacks? Besides, it's not as if the Doctor even does anything in Christmas, aside from helping to vanquish the extremely rare invader that breaches the Mainframe's unbreachable shield. If he left the planet, maybe he could come up with a way to actually disperse the hordes that have been circling Trenzalore ineffectually for centuries. For that matter, if it's just the one village, why not offer to relocate the residents once he has his TARDIS back, and then let the aliens fight to the death over the planet all they want! He tells Clara that every life he saves is worthwhile, but we see at least one villager get caught in the battle crossfire, so it's arguable whether his staying on the planet is really in everyone's best interest.

• Why do the aliens suddenly attack en masse? One minute, Tasha is valiantly struggling to prevent the shield frequency from falling into the Daleks' hands; the next, without explanation, suddenly everyone and their mother is attacking Trenzalore. Not that they accomplish anything, despite in-fighting for some considerable length of time while the Doctor dies of old age. Meanwhile, the Doctor and the Silence have apparently decided to join forces, which is a first, but to do what? To defend the old church? What's kept the aliens from overrunning it already?

• Why are the aliens dilly-dallying? If they think that burning the planet will prevent the Time Lords from returning, then why don't they just do it? They certainly don't care about preserving the Doctor's life! Surely once the Daleks have taken over the Mainframe, they could figure out how to crack the barrier and incinerate the planet — the Doctor even says that either the Daleks or the Cybermen could break through the Mainframe's shields if they chose — but they don't. Which brings up the related question:

• Why do the Daleks sit back and watch? First they're hesitant to attack the planet, then they attack it but don't seem to know what to do with it, and now they stand around firing at random buildings while the Doctor is standing right in front of them. So what if they know he's dying? Wouldn't they like to be the ones to finish him off, once and for all? What's the point in continuing to shoot windows out of some random buildings when they could fry the Doctor to a crisp?

• What's the point of the Doctor's self-sacrifice? If he dies on Trenzalore, and doesn't regenerate, then the planet will no longer be defended, and the Daleks can simply raze it to the ground. In that case, by staying on Trenzalore, he merely bought the residents a few extra hundred years, but he didn't exactly save the planet. Way to be proactive there, Doctor.

• Why is Gallifrey dilly-dallying? The Time Lords are waiting for a sign that these cracks lead into their home universe, right? And their sign of choice is the Doctor, the lone Time Lord remaining in that universe. The Doctor says that they won't bring Gallifrey back through the cracks until they're certain it's him, which is why he refuses to give his name until they can come through without restarting the Time War. But if Clara convinces the Time Lords that he is the Doctor, enough that they'll bestow a brand-new regeneration cycle on him, then why don't they take that as proof enough that they can restore Gallifrey into our universe? Shouldn't it appear in the skies over Trenzalore the moment the Doctor's regeneration has taken hold? (Unless they can bring Gallifrey back anywhere they choose — like its former galactic coordinates — which would make a lot more sense, frankly, and would basically eliminate the Doctor's concerns about the residents of Trenzalore getting caught in the crossfire.)

• Why doesn't this episode match what we saw of Trenzalore in The Name of the Doctor? In that previous episode, Trenzalore was a fiery-orange planet from space, apparently burning in the aftermath of the great battle, while on the surface it was a massive battleground, covered in tombstones. We see no hint of that here: all of the fighting apparently takes place on a small scale around the planet's sole village, and the Doctor's regeneration at the end causes a gigantic shockwave but doesn't seem to set the planet on fire. So does the Doctor still have a destiny on Trenzalore that's yet to be explored? For one thing, we still don't know what causes his TARDIS to apparently die there.

The overall storytelling is also problematic. We skim across the Doctor's time on Trenzalore so fast that it's difficult to get sentimental about any of the people on the planet or the reason why the Doctor has to stay, especially when so much of the plot is confusing enough that it's difficult to understand rationally, much less emotionally. I suppose I understand why Moffat does it — Clara needs to see the Doctor grow old, but she obviously can't stay with him herself throughout his lifespan — but it doesn't help the plot feel any more eventful. Part of the problem, I think, is that the plot is focused on connecting the dots and explaining how all these events led up to the Doctor's current situation, but we don't actually see any of these pivotal events, like Madame Kovarian going back in time to blow up the TARDIS. So it feels like we're being told rather than shown, and it merely explains the past without advancing the plot at all in the present.

So what does work?

• Well, the whole "nudity" sequence is frankly hilarious. I loved the idea that the Doctor just wouldn't stop to consider that perhaps it might be smart to project his clothes onto everybody else's visual cortex too! The scene of Clara's family reacting to the Doctor's nudity, before the audience even realizes what's going on, is fantastic. James Buller, in particular, gives some great reaction shots, and the way Sheila Reid purrs "Hello!" at the naked Doctor is an absolute highlight. It has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the ongoing plot, but it's a cute diversion.

• I was concerned, when Handles identified the signal as being of Gallifreyan origin, that this fascinating new direction for the series — the Doctor's hunt for Gallifrey — might be over before it had even begun. So even though I don't understand why Gallifrey hasn't returned already, I'm glad that it's still out there, even though it seems like the Doctor doesn't really have to do any searching now because the Time Lords can find him through the cracks whenever they want. At least it hasn't closed off that plot thread completely.

• The brief scenes of Clara being menaced by the Silence and the Weeping Angels are moments of genuine fright and tension. The snowstorm and fog, in particular, add an interesting twist to the threat posed by the Angels. It's also nice to learn a bit more of the Silence's background, even though it's beginning to feel a bit like they're given a brand-new background and purpose with every new appearance. Still, I like the idea of priests who offer confessions so private and confidential that even you can't remember them afterward. Although that does lead to the question of whether penitents would constantly be returning to confess the same sins over and over again, under the mistaken belief that they had never been absolved. And it is a bit peculiar that now the Silence are suddenly being given the brand-new catchphrase of "Confess!" which, honestly, is not super-terrifying.

• The truth field — even though I don't understand why it doesn't work as advertised — is a nice idea, and its initial effects on the Doctor and Clara are quite funny. I adore that Clara describes herself as "bubbly personality masking bossy control freak!" which, frankly, finally gives me a handle on her. And I can see the truth of it, too!

• It's nice to see the crack in time return, tying together Matt Smith's era and serving such a useful thematic purpose in the process. Finally the whole TARDIS-explosion arc makes more sense, now that we know who caused it to explode (and why; if not how). I appreciate that not only did Madame Kovarian's attempt fail, it actually brought about the very event that she and the Silence were trying to prevent, which is a nice commentary on causality and the immutable flow of events. It's also nice to finally understand how the "oldest question" comes into play and why the Silence feel compelled to prevent its being answered: they don't want the Time War to be resumed, which is indeed a noble purpose.

• The idea that the Doctor can't bring Gallifrey back until he finds a way to ensure that the Time War doesn't just pick up right where it left off. This places some interesting limits on the Doctor's quest, and it makes absolute sense given the current Dalek-ful state of the universe.

• The scene with the Dalek-zombies, though it doesn't really advance the plot in any way, is another frightening set-piece that livens up the middle of the story.

• Tasha's line "Kiss me when I ask!" Finally! The Doctor's habit of swaggering around the universe planting kisses on swooning women had been bothering me, particularly after The Crimson Horror. Around the end of series 7, I read a really scathing commentary (that I can't seem to track down again) which articulated my concern much better than I could have, and really took Steven Moffat to task for continually portraying the Doctor as the sort of person who would commit sexual assault by surprising women with nonconsensual kisses. At least now Moffat is acknowledging this tendency, although it's unfortunately defanged by the fact that Tasha clearly enjoyed the kiss and isn't genuinely all that bothered by the Doctor taking such liberties (she rebukes him in a half-joking tone, with a sly grin), and the fact that the Doctor doesn't take her rebuke seriously. But it's a step in the right direction.

• I'm quite happy with how the Doctor's regeneration crisis was handled. Even though it was sprung on us out of the blue, I appreciate that Steven Moffat was indeed paying close attention to how many regenerations the Doctor has used up, and it's nice that the situation was resolved within the framework of established series precedent. Ever since The Five Doctors made it clear that the Time Lords had the ability to bestow new regenerative cycles, I've always assumed that was a possibility for when the Doctor reached the end of his lifespan, but with the Time Lords missing from the revival, I didn't expect it to be an option. Cleverly, Moffat even gives us a little hint by referring directly back to that very moment in The Five Doctors, when the Doctor produces the Seal of the High Council which was given to the Master when the High Council offered him a new regenerative cycle, and which the Doctor later confiscated in the Death Zone. Now we get to look forward to Doctor #24! (Incidentally, does this mean that the Valeyard actually coalesced during the Tennant-to-Smith regeneration? Intriguing. Bring forth the fanfic!)

Overall, I think it's sweet that the eleventh Doctor doesn't regenerate as a result of battle wounds — especially since that's what we'd assumed would happen — but rather because he was determined to stay and defend one tiny little town of people he'd never met before he landed there by accident. He gives up hundreds of years of his own life, and ultimately gives up his life itself, in order to save them. It's a kindly view of the Doctor, and it gives him a small-scale regeneration — nearly a small-scale death — reminiscent of his determination to save Peri in The Caves of Androzani. It's just a shame that his reason for having to stay wasn't a little better defined.

Well, I'd been wondering how they were going to handle Matt Smith's new buzz-cut! (which he acquired while shooting a film just down the road in Detroit, and don't you know I was sad to have missed seeing him in town!) The wig-reveal is absolutely hilarious, and a great way to deflect criticism if anyone noticed that his hairstyle wasn't looking quite authentic in this story (although, personally, I thought it was a superb wig and never even realized he was wearing one). Watch the skillful way he juggles it when Clara throws it back to him. His old-age acting is also pitch-perfect, as he adjusts his gait, his speed of movement, and his speech, to very effectively communicate the toll of the years on the Doctor. But it's nice that his final scene gets to be as his usual youthful self, and although his final line ("I will always remember when the Doctor was me.") is a slightly odd one, it's a vast improvement on Tennant's. In his final story, Matt Smith reminds us all why we love him so much with deliveries like these: "Ding dong! Okay, brilliant! I may be a bit rusty in a some areas, but I will glance at a manual."; "It's a rollercoaster, this phone call."; "Yes! I am naked. I wondered if you'd notice!"; "I do!"; "I haven't seen a truth field in years! I'm wearing a wig."; and "Ah, yes, well, that made it easier to stay." I adore his performance as the Doctor takes a big swig of Tasha's blue cordial and then immediately spits it all right back in the glass, and the expression on his face as the Doctor ingests the regeneration energy. Smith also joins the roster of male regulars who have stripped down in their final or penultimate story, becoming the first Doctor to participate in this grand tradition. (Maybe we can count Tennant too, if we take that Journey's End regeneration to be the official end of the tenth Doctor!)

Clara gets mixed characterization in this story. On one hand, she's very brave — she's willing to sacrifice her life rather than let the Daleks use her as a pawn, she takes the initiative to solicit the Time Lords' help, and she refuses to let the Doctor abandon her, in a plot element lifted directly from The Parting of the Ways. On the other hand, she's not terribly capable — despite apparently knowing how to make soufflés, a Christmas turkey completely flummoxes her; and although she should be the most well-prepared of anyone, she seems to have a very hard time accepting the fact that the Doctor is about to regenerate. Part of the problem could just be that the plotline doesn't give her many opportunities to show off. Also, I would like to officially register my exasperation that, after being promised for half a season that Clara was not going to be like Grace, Sam, Rose, Martha, Astrid and Amy, it turns out that, in fact, she "really fancies" the Doctor. Here we go again. Love Coleman's delivery of "Euch. You shouldn't say things like that, it's Christmas."; and "It's stone! It's just stone, it's only a statue."

Mother Superius Tasha Lem is an interesting character, and well-played by Orla Brady, although it's difficult not to regard her as a River clone. She's a powerful, headstrong woman who knows how to fly the TARDIS, appears to have a romantic history with the Doctor, has a flirty sense of humor, speaks in cryptic riddles, is reportedly a bit of a psychopath, and is presented to us as an old friend of the Doctor's whom we've never before met, even though she works for some of his greatest enemies. Love Brady's delivery of "Every sentient being in the universe who detected that signal felt something."

Handles (Kayvan Novak) also arrives from out of left field, and had me more than a little bit confused until we finally got some backstory. He's cute, with strong K-9 vibes, but I'm not entirely sure that I understand his presence in this story, given that he's barely required by the plot and, as a Cyberman, shouldn't he be, you know, evil?

The native Christmas couple — who I think must be Abramal (Rob Jarvis) and Marta (Tessa Peake-Jones) — are adorable, particularly Marta with her very sweet smile. The other locals we meet, Barnable (Jack Hollington) and the young man who is not Barnable (Tom Gibbons), are enjoyable too, although they're not given many lines. The four of them do help the narrative by putting a face on the many people that the Doctor is helping to save.

Back home, I adored Clara's gran (Sheila Reid), who's delightfully young-at-heart, just a little bit pervy, and sweetly sentimental. Clara's dad Dave, though, is coming across as unsupportive: he seems to defer to his cranky new wife, he doesn't laugh at Clara's jokes, and Clara seems to find his turkey suggestions to be critical rather than helpful. And why is Dave now being played by James Buller, who looks nothing at all like Michael Dixon from The Rings of Akhaten? I found this very confusing. Plus, notice that Clara's current family is already falling into the typical Doctor Who mold: dads are sweet and hapless, mothers (and stepmothers) are overbearing, and grandparents are snarky beloved confidantes.

Karen Gillan's cameo, to my shock, actually made me tear up. I certainly didn't expect to respond so strongly to seeing her again, but I really found it sweet that the Doctor has a vision of Amy before regenerating. Besides, it hearks back nicely to the fourth and fifth Doctor's regenerations (even if Rory, as usual, gets shafted by virtue of his non-inclusion).

It's still too soon to know what to make of Peter Capaldi, whose first line ("Kidneys! I've got new kidneys! ...I don't like the color.") is absolutely hilarious, but not even slightly a departure from previous incarnations first fixating on their teeth and legs. We're not given any immediate sign, á la Colin Baker, that the Doctor has undergone a drastic personality change, but perhaps that's intentional. So only time will tell whether this new Doctor will actually be less manic-quirky than the last two, but I'm really enthusiastic about seeing what Capaldi does with the role.

As effects go, I have no complaints. The opening shot of Trenzalore's rings is stunning; I really like the new TARDIS materialization effect, as it heaves into reality with Clara on its back; the Doctor's initial regeneration, spouting energy like lava from his limbs, looks great; and the explosion when the Doctor first regenerates is impressively massive. After such a drawn-out initial regeneration effect, I love that the Doctor's actual regeneration, when it arrives, is lightning-quick. The old-age makeup on the Doctor also deserves a round of applause, because it's stunningly realistic.

The music's all right, but nothing really stands out, and the score gives away the presence of the Weeping Angels before they actually appear. I do like the creepy shift in tone when Tasha realizes that the Daleks murdered her. Likewise, I find myself with almost nothing to say about Jamie Payne's direction, as there were no shots that really grabbed me, and you know that's unusual. I chalk it up to my overall apathy about the episode.

I suppose it's only fair that, for Matt Smith's final story, we get a reappearance by the...

SHUT-UP COUNTER: 2 1.   (02:41)   Clara: (to the Doctor) "No! Shut up! Christmas dinner, me, cooking."   2.   (41:04)   Doctor: (to Tasha) "Listen to me. You have been fighting the psychopath inside you all your life. Shut up, and win. That is an order, Tasha Lem."

We also have Clara insulting the Doctor's appearance, by comparing his ears to rocket fins, which again is not the sort of behavior that we want to encourage among children, is it, Mr Moffat?

Minor points:

• Among this week's nods to the past: the Terileptils get a name-check, the High Council seal from The Five Doctors miraculously reappears, the Doctor pulls an Ark in Space on Tasha ("Why did I ever rely on you?"), and we finally learn that what the Doctor saw in his hotel room in The God Complex was... the crack. Perhaps a bit of a let-down, in some ways — I'm not sure why the crack would make the Doctor fall back on faith — but it's nice to get an answer nevertheless.

• "Even I can't translate it!" says the Doctor... of a Gallifreyan message. Skills getting pretty rusty there, eh, TARDIS? (Apparently so, because it does seem to need Handles to do all the heavy lifting.)

• I am relieved that after my griping in the anniversary special, the lack of a console phone has been addressed this week. Here's hoping Capaldi's Doctor gets around to fixing that!

• No wonder Clara's flat building looks familiar: it's the same place that stood in for the Powell Estate.

• This line, as Clara's family is surely wondering why she has paraded her naked boyfriend in front of them, is brilliant. For once, the Doctor's behavior has made it impossible for him to claim UK citizenship as an excuse.

  Clara: "Sorry. He's Swedish."

• Speaking of what's going through the minds of Clara's family, they must really be wondering about her. First she disappears from her flat, taking the turkey with her (where?!); then she gives her grandmother a very sad, although sweet, hug for no apparent reason (do they think the Doctor's just walked out on her? that would seem to be the case, if Linda has a boy-band list)... her family must be really concerned about her mental state.

• "You thought you might have [saved Gallifrey]," Clara advises the Doctor. Then, later, she's all confused: "You said Gallifrey was gone." Am I the only one who understands that Gallifrey is not gone, just frozen in a pocket universe somewhere? I thought this was general knowledge now!

• Is it wise, I wonder, for Clara to chew up her hologram projector before swallowing it? That doesn't generally help technology work more efficiently, in my experience.

• Why, in front of Tasha, does the Doctor have such a difficult time coming up with the word "companion"? Or even "assistant"? Was he trying to go for a more independent-sounding word, and that's why he finally settled on "associate"?

• Can someone please tell me one thing that comes up during the Doctor's discussion with Tasha that Clara shouldn't have been privy to?

• Is there something specific that the Silence would like Clara to confess, or are they just being pushy priests?

• Nice comeback, Doctor.

  Clara: "How can a town be called Christmas?"
  Doctor: "I don't know. How can an island be called Easter?"

• Ooh, so the Doctor says "twenty-ten". I hope that doesn't mean I have to. For some reason, that isn't going to sound natural to me until at least 2020, maybe 2021. We used to have arguments about the proper way to say years like 2010 back when I was doing voice recordings for English listening tests; thankfully I wasn't the one who had to say them, so it didn't really matter what I thought!

• Now the sonic screwdriver has to be charged in the TARDIS console, like a mobile phone?! Oh dear. I don't like this one bit. It feels way too twenty-first century. Shouldn't it have its own power source?

• The wooden Cyberman is an interesting idea, I suppose. Its battle-cry of "Incinerate!" is a little too Daleky for my liking though.

• After 300 years, the Doctor is very noticebly aged. I'm trying to decide if this contradicts The Impossible Astronaut (where 200 years passed without a hint of a difference in his face) or if it actually supports the ridiculous Doctor-aging plot element of Last of the Time Lords (in which 100 years turned the Doctor into a wrinkled imp).

• It's rather sweet that the TARDIS protected Clara on their journey back to Trenzalore. I guess it likes her now?

• I really like the concept — and the onscreen execution — that dawn on Trenzalore is fleeting, so the Doctor makes certain never to miss it.

• I shouldn't be laughing at this, Mr Smug, but it's so funny that I can't help myself...

  Tasha: "They engineered a psychopath to kill you."
  Doctor: "Totally married her."

• Why doesn't Tasha's head-wound heal up once the Dalek eyestalk retracts? Shouldn't the Daleks want the seam to be as unobtrusive as possible?

• Why does Clara offer to cut into the turkey once it's roasted? Surely she wants to wait to carve it with her family! And why does she carry it out of the TARDIS without looking where she's going, thus winding up stuck back home again? And why, once she leaves the TARDIS, does her turkey revert back to being raw, thus leaving her in just as much of a turkey pickle as she was before? And why do we keep wasting time on this silly turkey subplot when nothing else is happening??? For goodness' sakes, the turkey plotline is never even resolved!

• Where do these soldiers come from all of a sudden? Are they Church clerics?

• Me-ow, Gran! Love Reid's delivery:

  Gran: "These crackers are rubbish."
  Linda: "I bought them."
  Gran: "I know."

• Following her adorable hug with her gran, Clara gets another really sweet scene with the dying Doctor, as she reads to him this poem that's surprisingly affecting. I think I'm well within my rights to be totally sick of oh-so-meaningful children's rhymes in Doctor Who by this point, but I actually really like this one. Then again, Matt Smith's reaction sells it.

  Clara: "And now it's time for one last bow, like all your other selves. Eleven's hour is over now; the clock is striking twelve's."
  Doctor: "I don't get it."

• Heh! Good line:

  Doctor: "I haven't got a plan, but people love it when I say that."

• I was thinking how unusual it is for us to get a regeneration scene outside the TARDIS, but then it turns out that we don't. Which made me wonder: how does the Doctor get back into the TARDIS? Maybe he has a sufficient reprieve, as during his last regeneration, to walk there unaided after the initial outrush of regeneration energy?

• The first time around, I didn't even catch the significance of the Doctor taking off his bow tie. But then, awww.

Did I like it? Well... no, not really very much at all. It has a few isolated good moments, but there's practically no plot to speak of, and you know you're in dangerous territory when neither the incumbent Doctor nor the companion gets anything to do. This one needed, like, five rewrites. Such a shame for Matt Smith's final story.