Holistic Review: The guest cast is stellar, but it's a little light on plot and originality.

Here marks the beginning of a new era in my Doctor Who viewing habits. Gray and Katherine have moved off to Hong Kong, which means no more Friday movieNights (for the foreseeable future) and no more group Doctor Who viewings. The immediate impact of this, however, was that I didn't need to wait until early January to see Voyage of the Damned... it suddenly hit me that I could download it onto my laptop while I was home for Christmas. To my utter delight, some kind soul posted the torrent almost as soon as it had finished airing, and I actually managed to have it downloaded by around 8 pm EST. So, around 11 pm on Christmas night, my mother and I settled in with peppermint bark and a glass of spiced cherry wine to watch it. This was her first exposure to Tennant; she'd loved McGann in the TV movie, and had seen bits of Eccleston when I brought home VHS tapes of the first season for my father, but never any of the tenth Doctor. Unfortunately, I think that dimming the lights might not have been the best move, because she started intermittently snoozing about two-thirds of the way through, so I still don't know what exactly she thought of the bits she did see. And I also have to ask myself: is that any reflection on how gripping the story was, or was not?

Ultimately, I think it might be. It has to be said that not much really happens in Voyage of the Damned. The plot is essentially stuffed into one scene between the Doctor and Max Capricorn; all the rest is either background information, character detail, or action. Voyage of the Damned has most often been compared to the disaster-movie genre, which is mostly action over plot, so this isn't necessarily a criticism... but, speaking only for myself, there's a reason that I very rarely watch disaster movies. When I do, the part that most appeals to me isn't the action (toppling buildings, crashing planes, flowing lava...) but rather the characters and how they band together to overcome adversity. And in that regard, we fare pretty well here.

The most prominent name on the cast list, unquestionably, is Kylie Minogue. Following in the grand tradition of Bonnie Langford and Billie Piper, here we have a well-known entertainer accepting the role of the Doctor's companion... but this is no ordinary entertainer, this is a worldwide superstar. It's frankly astonishing that Kylie agreed to take the part, and she does it with such enthusiasm. Now, when I was about eleven years old, I was a huge Kylie fan. This was when her video for "The Locomotion" came out, and I absolutely loved it. I remember my friends teasing me for doing the moves at some point, although — having just rewatched the video, which is hilariously '80s, on YouTube — I don't actually see that particular pulling-the-train-whistle move anywhere in the video, so maybe I made it up. Or maybe I'm misremembering. And for some reason I was thinking she'd appeared in an episode of 3-2-1 Contact around the same time, but I'm not seeing any references to that either. At any rate, I lost track of her pretty quickly after that, but for me she's always been in the "brief childhood obsession" category. So what a delight to see her appearing in Doctor Who, and how fantastic that she's brought so much publicity with her.

Kylie gets to play Astrid Peth, which I must say is a far more interesting companion name than the others we've been getting lately! As Astrid, Kylie is charming. Her excitement about travel is appealing and relatable, she's concerned about others, she's brave and she's determined to do the right thing. When confronted with a pile of rubble, her first instinct is to shift it rather than to give up and look for a different route. Her delight and wonder at the "real alien shops!" on an ordinary London street is really cool (and I'm amused by the Doctor's perplexed assertion that "The pyramids are beautiful, and New Zealand..."). She reminds me a bit of Ace, in that she too is stuck being a waitress when she longs to do something exciting with her life. I love the fact that Astrid knows she should report the Doctor for stowing away, but she doesn't (although of course we knew she never would). I really like Kylie's delivery of "I just wanted to try it, just once." and "You may be a Time King from Gallibey, but you still need to eat." It's funny, I really didn't pick up on much of an Australian accent, although it gets a bit stronger when Astrid pleads with Frame for teleporter access so that she can help the Doctor. Astrid's request to come with the Doctor is sweetly phrased, and I'm glad that his acceptance makes her an official companion, even if she never got to board the TARDIS (assuming that her constituent particles didn't zip in after her death, that is).

Unfortunately, Astrid doesn't get a whole lot to do in the story, aside from EMPing a bunch of Hosts; she mostly just tags along behind the Doctor to be inquisitive and brave and sweet. And irritatingly, RTD insists on playing the crush card again, so we get Astrid hinting that she wants to wake up next to the Doctor, and later planting a kiss full on his lips. (I will admit that I like her delivery on "Okay" in the former scene, but still.) At this rate, I'm really worried that Donna is going to realize her "true feelings" for the Doctor by episode 3 (and her episode-7 kiss with the Doctor, as revealed in the preview, is not doing anything to reassure me). So, although I really liked Kylie's performance and I thought Astrid was a very appealing character, I don't really feel like we got enough of a sense of what made Astrid special or unique, and her obvious attraction to the Doctor — for the third companion in a row (or fourth, if you count Jack... or fifth, if you count Sarah!) — was enough to at least make me feel better that she didn't end up becoming a long-term companion. But I would certainly be delighted if the rumors turned out to be true, and Astrid does get to make a return appearance at some point.

Of course, the chances of that happening seem a little remote, since Astrid also has the distinction of being the first companion in the new series to die during her travels with the Doctor. Because she's only had this one adventure, she's more of a Sara or a Katarina than an Adric, but it'll be interesting to see how the new younger viewers react to this kind of plot development. (According to Wikipedia, "It has been reported that younger viewers who are fans of pop star Kylie were left distraught by Astrid's death and had to be convinced that Kylie is not dead in real life." But, I wonder, what about the ones who had no idea who Kylie was?)

I was also very glad that the rumor mill turned out to be false on this occasion. I'd accidentally stumbled upon a post in the Outpost Gallifrey forum (when will I learn?) mentioning a theory that Astrid was merely a projection of the TARDIS — a theory which was in part supported by the fact that "Astrid" is an anagram of TARDIS, and it explained nicely why Astrid would only be around for the one episode. I tried to put it aside, but it was hard to forget, and it got even worse when a "companion quiz" linked from the BBC's Doctor Who advent calendar asked the question, "One companion has a name that's an anagram of 'TARDIS'? Who plays her?" (yes, both question marks were present in their version.) So I thought, oh, yikes, that's clinched it. So I was really fretting about it up until the release of DWM #390. On page 15, their "Countdown to Christmas" included the entry "Thursday, 25 October: is Kylie playing the TARDIS? According to The Sun: 'Astrid is an anagram of TARDIS, while Perth means "part" in Welsh, where the show is filmed [sic] — so her name translates as "part Tardis". More accurately, the previous week, The Sun had revealed that the Titanic in Voyage of the Damned is in fact a spaceship." (Amusingly, "Perth" seems to actually mean 'bush' in Welsh, although had they spelled it correctly, they were probably right about "Peth"... although I'm seeing more references to it meaning 'thing' than 'part'.) And later, on page 23: "[The press] will probably reveal ... whether or not the fact that 'Astrid' is an anagram of 'TARDIS' is significant or, in fact, complete coincidence." So, I figured, if DWM is going to address the issue outright, then surely it must be false? Phew — one massive spoiler, narrowly averted. Speaking of spoilers from the Sun, I somehow managed to miss that little reveal about the Titanic in the previous quote, but DWM made sure I was in on the secret with "If you've caught this month's TV and cinema trails, you'll know by now that Voyage of the Damned is not set on the actual, real, historical Titanic. (Hands up who thought it would be! Honestly?)" Um... well... *shyly raises hand* I guess I should have figured this out from the trailer, because the Titanic does have pretty obvious space engines on the back of it, but I just assumed somehow that the real ship had been transported into space. I mean, really, if we can have a hospital on the moon, why not?! Still, the presence of the Host and Bannakaffalatta would have given it away soon enough. So, there go my hopes for our first true historical story. My hopes now rest entirely with Pompeii, although the scene from the trailer (with the Doctor demanding the identity of a burned-looking figure, who screeches something unintelligible) have me worried.

Anyway! Back to the cast. David Tennant is, of course, excellent, as the Doctor ambles around the Titanic, befriends Astrid, immediately takes charge after the meteoroid hit, keeps the gang as alive as he can, and confronts Max on Deck 31. I just can never find a single reason to criticize the man, long may he stay in the role. He's wonderfully reassuring, to both Astrid and Frame in particular, when trouble strikes; it's nice that he picks up so quickly on the cues over the intercom that Frame has been hurt, and expresses concern. It's really sweet of him to snag a shore-leave pass for Astrid, to at least briefly show her the wonders of the universe (or, well, the wonders of a deserted London street). It's fun and impressive to watch him work through the logic of the Hosts' orders and Max Capricorn's plan. And I love the way he checks the wall of the TARDIS after exiting, to make sure it's still intact. Great delivery on "So tell me then, 'cause I'm an idiot — where are we from?"; to Foon, "I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."; and "Blimey!" I also really enjoy the fact that, as has been demonstrated previously, the Doctor is not just an expert on Earth pop culture of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries; here he shows an awareness of that classic Sto soap opera, By the Light of the Asteroid. I'm not sure how thrilled I am that he infodumps his background in an attempt to show off, but it is admittedly impressive, and it does gain Slade's respect, so I can let it slide. It just sounds a little... pompous? bad-fanfic-y? I dunno. Anyway, it's only the lines that I have an issue with; his performance is great.

In the party that accompanies the Doctor, we've got the delightful Clive Swift, making his return to Doctor Who as Mr Copper. Once I became a fan of Keeping Up Appearances, I always thought it was fun to go back and re-view Revelation of the Daleks, to watch Swift's shockingly different performance as Jobel. Mr Copper, in contrast, is a far more amiable and likeable character, with a sweet nature, a determination to help, and a hilariously misinformed knowledge of Earth customs. (I particularly love "Now, human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws, and his wife Mary." and "But don't stray too far, it could be dangerous. Any day now, they start boxing." and his dramatic delivery of "They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner — like savages!") I really like his background as a travelling salesman who got a degree in Earthonomics from Mrs Golightly's Happy Traveller University and Dry Cleaners in an attempt to better his life. I'd go so far as to say that Swift is one of the very most successful things about Voyage of the Damned, and I was absolutely thrilled that he got so much to do in the story, and lived through to the end. It hit me that he would have made a really interesting companion, too, although unfortunately, the Doctor was hit hard enough by Astrid's death to decline the opportunity... drat. (I guess it's going to take Donna to pull him out of this funk.) But it's nice that the Doctor realizes what a good man Copper is, and decides to help him out of his jam. How cool that he's a rich man now, and his simple desires are charming: a house with a garden and a door, and a kitchen with chairs and windows and plates. Sweet! I love the grateful hug he gives the Doctor, and the subsequent shot of Mr Copper merrily skipping across a snowy field into the distance, as the TARDIS dematerializes. Do you suppose we'll ever see him again, in future Earth-based adventures? I certainly hope so. (I must, however, amend this to add that thanks to his interview in DWM 391 and a flurry of Facebook posts, I now know that Clive Swift himself is much more of a Jobel than a Copper, which disheartens me greatly, and makes me much less sad that the Doctor didn't bustle Mr Copper on board the TARDIS. When he browbeats poor interviewer Ben Cook with comments like "I think you'll find that proper journalists know shorthand" and "There's no reason why I should talk to you at all, so you shouldn't push it. I'm sure you'll write something very nice. [stony silence] I know that you all think that this is a big world, this Who business. But it isn't. There are much bigger things than this." — well, it's made me lose some respect for the man, and I'm afraid it'll taint the way I view Mr Copper in future. I had to go and read the Russell Tovey interview to calm myself down.)

We then have the sweet and oh-so-middle-class couple of Foon and Morvin Van Hoff. (It's just as well that they didn't end up in steerage, since it would seem that out of the entire Titanic passenger list, the Doctor only managed to save three people. Although in their case, I suppose it wouldn't have made any difference...) Their very ordinariness, which makes them contemptable in the eyes of the upper-class passengers, makes them some of the most appealing characters in the entire special. I love the fact that RTD made a point to demonstrate how unkind it was of certain people to make fun of their weight, and hopefully the children in the audience will all pick up on that. Clive Rowe is enjoyable as the smiling and good-humored Morvin, and I took even more to Debbie Chazen as Foon, who is sweet and a bit of a worrier. Morvin's sudden death was quite shocking, and my heart sank when Foon decided that life wasn't worth living without him. No doubt the Doctor felt their loss even more keenly, as he had promised to get both of them out alive (not to mention Astrid). These two were very fun characters, and definitely gave Voyage of the Damned a lift.

Our token alien in this story is Bannakaffalatta, played by the ever-reliable Jimmy Vee. I'm pleased that he got a bigger role in the plot this time around, and he makes Bannakaffalatta really fun. His quirky delivery on lines like "Easy, good!" and "Bannakaffalatta small!" is fantastic. His ability to stop the Host with his inbuilt EMP transmitter is cool, although one wonders why he even has one, and why it doesn't fry his own systems? Maybe it does, and that's why he can't be recharged afterwards. His death was both tragic and noble, giving his life to save his new friends. And the prosthetics! Wow! I love the spiky-headed "talking conker" look. And, finally, Gray O'Brien as the wealthy and callous Rickston Slade, whose only concern is his own well-being and particularly his finances. He works from his phone on vacation, he belittles Astrid, he's heartless about the steward's death, and he makes fun of the Van Hoffs' weight within their earshot. And, for some bizarre reason, he flatly refuses to help support the weight of the rubble, even though it might help save the life of the one man who could save his. This is exactly the sort of character in any film that you expect to see gruesomely killed, as karmic comeuppance, so I was immensely amused by the fact that he was one of the few people to survive. Clearly this was a very deliberate move on RTD's part, as Mr Copper puts my exact feelings into words: "Of all the people to survive, he's not the one you would have chosen, is he?" Cleverly, for a moment he seems to have been bettered by the experience (when he gives the Doctor a grateful hug, although the Doctor doesn't seem to be impressed by this gesture in the slightest) but we soon learn that if he has improved, it's not by very much at all. It's pretty hilarious that when the engine-room bridge shakes while he's on it, he lets everyone know "I'm okay!" but they couldn't care less, and nobody pays the slightest bit of attention.

Among the ship's crew, the very familiar face of Geoffrey Palmer appears as Captain Hardaker, although I couldn't place him for the life of me until I realized he'd been in As Time Goes By (a sitcom with which, alas, I am not particularly enamored). He's great here, clearly plotting something, and clearly not very remorseful about it, although he regrets having to kill young officers in the course of his plans (the younger passengers and crew, on the other hand, apparently mean nothing to him, which is an interesting character detail). His motivation is well conceived, too, although one wonders if his family will still get the money as he was promised, if Capricorn's company is bankrupt and his plan becomes public knowledge. If not, then he killed all those people for absolutely nothing. It's a shame his part wasn't larger, because he does a fantastic job with it. Even more fantastic, though, is Russell Tovey as Midshipman Frame. It occurred to me partway through this viewing that Frame is exactly the sort of character I'd like to see as the Doctor's companion. He's not a macho man like Jack, nor a coward like Adam... he's just a friendly, well-meaning, brave and honorable man, who's even willing to stand up to his superiors and risk getting shot in order to do what's right. Tovey's delivery makes Frame particularly likeable, as you can tell that he's doing everything in his power to save the ship through what must be intense pain. I thought he was surely a goner the moment that Hardaker shot him, but apparently it was just a flesh wound (maybe Hardaker figured the meteoroids would do him in soon enough), and I was really happy to see him survive as well. His determination to be a stickler for the rules is probably the only reason that anybody survived at all. Love his performance as Frame struggles to go check on the engines despite his gunshot wound, and his little yelp when he sees the Host's hand stuck in the door. (And he certainly interviews far better than Clive Swift. But then, so does everyone else in this story.) There's also Andrew Havill as the Chief Steward, who doesn't get a lot to do, but gives a very funny delivery to the line "QUIET! ...Thank you." (Stewards don't fare very well in RTD episodes, it would seem!)

Our villain of the piece is the oily Max Capricorn, played by George Costigan, who strikes exactly the right note in making Capricorn sleazy but brilliant. You can tell that he's an intelligent man who planned for every contingency except the interference of a meddling Time Lord, and he clearly doesn't even conceive of losing. His combination of confidence and smarm is great, making Capricorn very unlikeable and yet intriguing to watch. I love his delivery of "I have men waiting to retrieve me from the ruins, and enough offworld accounts to retire me to the beaches of Penhaxico Two, where the ladies, so I'm told, are very fond of metal."

Despite his profile in Doctor Who Magazine, it took me until the third viewing to figure out that Bernard Cribbins, once Cushing-Doctor movie companion Tom Campbell, was playing the newsvendor Wilfred Mott. How nice to see him in Doctor Who again! His gruff performance is most entertaining, and I'm glad to hear that he might be reappearing in future.

The sad thing is that we've got this great cast assembled, but the plot just feels kind of light and fluffy, and not particularly original. As I've said, not much really happens — it's perfectly entertaining, but it doesn't really have any "wow" moments. We've all seen disaster movies in which the characters have to figure out a way to survive and escape, and Doctor Who tends to do a lot of that sort of thing anyway, so all the scenes of our characters trying to escape, destroy or outwit the Host — which make up the bulk of the story — feel like business as usual. The "crossing the bridge" scene, which feels like the most prominent scene in the story, reminds me of similar set pieces, like the fan scene in The End of the World or any number of jungle-rope-bridge movies (although at least this bridge does not collapse, leaving someone dangling off the end of it). Then there's the Doctor's meeting with Max, which isn't really any different from his confrontations with a number of other villains. And finally we have the conclusion, in which the Doctor manages to avert disaster in the very nick of time. There are a lot of really cool visuals, and some funny lines and nice character moments, but nothing that sticks out as being a really iconic moment. Instead, the plot just seems to be going through the motions.

RTD is even plundering the show's past, by drawing lots of plot elements straight out of The Robots of Death. True, he picked a good source, but it's surprising how very many elements he lifts. We've got beautiful golden robots with stylized human faces, who are reprogrammed to go rogue and kill off the occupants of a self-contained transport vehicle. The humans, who rely on the robots for menial tasks, don't expect this at all, and are surprised to hear stories of a robot who malfunctioned and nearly maimed a human in the course of offering assistance. When they go berserk, they start to chant "Kill. Kill. Kill." One of them gets its hand stuck in a sliding door as it closes, and the hand is subsequently detached (but not, alas, hurled at anyone; I was really hoping someone would get to say "Please do not throw hands at me."). Ultimately, the answer to the mystery lies inside a secret room that is not marked on any maps of the vessel. (So, one wonders, why does The Robots of Death succeed when this one doesn't, quite? Part of it, I think, is that Robots is played as a murder-mystery drama/thriller, with interesting characters being stalked and slowly picked off by a cadre of robots roaming the corridors. Voyage is much more action/adventure, with more time given to grand spectacle and a little less to character development. In Robots, the villain was disguised as a member of the crew, so we had a lot more reason to analyze motives and suspect everyone; here, we don't even meet the villain until the characters are all relatively safe and sound.) RTD also takes a page from Earthshock, during the scene in which Frame watches the biosigns of the people in Kitchen 05 wink out on his monitor, but I love the source material enough that I really don't mind (even if Earthshock did do it better).

It must be said, though, that even if they're largely plagiarized from The Robots of Death, the Host are great adversaries. True, they too stalk the corridors looking for humans to annihilate, but they're made a little extra-frightening because they don't strangle you, they decapitate you with a well-aimed frisbee throw of their golden halo. And they can fly (albeit inexplicably, because their wings — which don't look as though they could support a flying robot — never move anyway; perhaps they have some other source of motive power). It's also interesting to note that RTD seems to have ripped off not only the Voc robots, but also the Grel from the Bernice Summerfield line (although they preface every statement, not just informative ones, with a categorization).

Murray Gold turns in another fairly average score; the only bit that really makes me sit up and take notice is the lovely music that seems to be Astrid's death theme; we hear it when the Doctor ascends to the bridge via Host, and again as he consigns Astrid's particles to the stars. I do, however, like the band that's playing onboard the Titanic; their performance of "Winter Wonderland" is great, and I like "The Stowaway" a lot more in context than I had thought I might when I heard it on the BBC website, even though it doesn't get much airtime.

There aren't a lot of effects that come jumping straight to mind, but I'm going to take that as a good sign, because certainly in a disaster movie there must be tons of effects, of both the computer-generated and physical sorts... so if I don't think of them as effects, then they must be well done. And, to be sure, all the scenes of the ship falling down around our band of passengers are done flawlessly. Of the few effects that really do stand out, Max's gleaming tooth effect is pretty funny ("It really does that!" observes the Doctor), and there's a nice effect of Astrid's molecules streaming through a window and out into space. I love the submarine noises as the Titanic descends into the Earth's atmosphere.

I definitely enjoyed James Strong's directing. There's a great shot of a small bit of meteoroid smashing through one of the glass windows and landing on the Titanic floor. I also like the shot of the Doctor being flung to the ground by an explosion, and then rising up into the foreground of the frame. The scene in which Frame is trying to get to the door and close it before the Host can enter the bridge is very well done, and very tense! There's a nice moment when Capricorn wheels forward in his life-support machine, and one of the Host is reflected in some part of it. Love the shot of the Doctor getting the Host to fly him up to the bridge, and the Titanic falling to Earth with the moon in the background. My favorite, though, is the shot of the Earth dissolving into a shot of the globe in the Titanic ballroom. Not sure about his choice (or was it RTD's?) to air Astrid's forklift sequence in slo-mo, though; the minute it switches over, we know that Astrid's not going to make it, so it seems like a bit of a giveaway.

Minor points:

• As of Voyage of the Damned, we've seen this sequence in which the Titanic breaches the TARDIS walls three times. Surely this is the first sequence to be a part of the chronology of three separate stories, not including flashbacks? (and if we're generous in counting Time Crash as a story?)

• I feel a little better knowing that the TARDIS walls were that easy to fix. I'd been wondering how on earth the Doctor was going to clean up the mess (I guess it all just disappeared when the walls repaired themselves), not to mention how he was going to manage to board the ship when the TARDIS was stuck on the bow.

• The Capricorn logo is really cool! Some real-world company oughta snatch that up (although I guess it does sort of look like the ship is sinking, so maybe that wouldn't be the best idea).

• And speaking of really cool... how's about that new rockin' theme music! It's fantastically energetic... can we keep it, Mom??? I especially love, toward the end, that electric-guitar riff followed by a simple piano counterpoint melody. It's about time Tennant had a theme to call his own... I mean, true, for the past two seasons we've been using a slightly modified and up-tempo version of the ninth Doctor theme, but this one is really awesome.

• One of my favorite scenes: the Doctor's quiet vengeance on the snobby socialites who were laughing at Morvin and Foon, by remotely detonating the cork of their champagne bottle with his sonic screwdriver. It's immensely satisfying to watch them shriek and get doused in champagne foam.

• Morvin's a bit mealy-mouthed when he introduces his wife... if it weren't for Tennant's crisp enunciation, I would've thought her name was Foo!

• Yay, the Titanic passengers get to dine on little bakewell tarts! Yummy! (And buffalo wings, although one wonders why Foon seems to think that all the wings came off one single buffalo!)

• Great delivery by Tennant:

  Foon: "Are you red 6-7?"
  Doctor: "Might as well be!"

• Awww, we're back on that "characters never eat the food in front of them" trend... the Doctor immediately discards the drink that Astrid so thoughtfully brought him, and for that matter, he didn't touch his buffalo wing, either. It's only the healthy appetites of Morvin and Foon that mollify me.

• How hilarious that the Londoners have all decided to evacuate this Christmas! Pretty smart of them, too. Although you have to wonder how all the shops survived, with no customers on Christmas Eve. Maybe everybody got their shopping done really early. Either that, or every other town in England benefitted from an influx of shoppers from London.

• The phrase "famous last words" comes to mind:

  Doctor: "As far as I know, this year, nothing to worry about."

• The Doctor's indignation at being transported back aboard the Titanic is a bit misplaced. He falsely claims "I was in mid-sentence!" when in fact, he had managed to complete that sentence entirely. Maybe he was mid-paragraph, but that's not quite the same.

• Boy. Convincing much?

  Frame: "Bit of a light show for the guests?"
  Hardaker: "Something like that."

• I wonder, what use would ordinary life preservers be if anybody went overboard on this Titanic? Therefore: might the life preservers be futuristic technology in disguise? Like portable oxygen shields? If so, it's too bad more people weren't clinging onto them when they were depressurized into space...

• Heh! As the survivors recover from impact:

  Doctor: "Bad name for a ship. Either that, or this suit is really unlucky."

• Is it just me, or does the voice who says "Oxygen shield stabilized" sound a lot like the "Sun filter rising" woman? Do they use her for all their computer voices? Or is it someone different and I'm just confused?

• Judging by the TARDIS' path when it disappears from view, it would appear to be heading for the very tip of south Wales, somewhere around St David's.

• Ha! Another great line:

  Doctor: "Christmas is a time of, of peace, and thanksgiving, and... what am I on about, my Christmases are always like this."

• Oh dear. I'm sorry... I think this is another of those lazy scriptwriting pitfalls that's designed to make us feel all warm and fuzzy even though nobody would ever act like this in real life. When Morvin finds out that Foon blew 5,000 credits to win a ticket that apparently cost less than 5,000 credits to begin with, why does he find it hilarious? Why does he decide that, even though they're now in debt up to their eyeballs that they'll never pay off, this is an example of why he loves her? "I adore you because you bring me to financial ruin"? I'm sorry, I really don't think so! Maaaaaybe it's something about being in a life-or-death situation, but I doubt most people would react so calmly (no, that's an understatement - so positively!) to news like that. So this scene really rubs me the wrong way.

• I do, however, like that we get a little bit of information on Sto and how it regards cyborgs. That's interesting background material that comes into play with both Bannakaffalatta and Max. And, I must say, it sounds pretty ludicrous that cyborgs would be forbidden from marrying, especially if they were humans who had to receive machine replacement parts to save their lives. (But, then again, making it sound ludicrous is probably exactly what RTD was going for! Nicely done.)

• And now another irritant. I suppose it makes sense that if you're going to introduce a magic everything-opening sonic screwdriver, you then have to also include some way to block it from opening absolutely everything, but this whole "deadlock seal" thing is starting to feel a bit ridiculous, when every culture in the universe across space and time seems to be utilizing them. And here we even have a double deadlock! It's like a magical "no sonic screwdriver" barrier that the writers can throw up whenever they want the Doctor to be stuck. I'm finding it a little tiresome...

• Niiiiiice way to kill a Host... cleave its head in two with a falling steel girder!

• Mwahaha! You tell 'im!

  Foon: "Morvin, look! Food!"
  Slade: "Oh great, someone's happy."
  Morvin: "Don't have any, then."

• Ha! Cool:

  Astrid: "This Christmas thing, what's it all about?"
  Doctor: "Long story. I should know, I was there. I got the last room."

• I love the implication that, since the loss of Gallifrey, the Doctor now considers the Earth to be his surrogate home. That's sweet.

• So, if I were going to build an engine room with a whopping great chasm in the middle, and I needed to cross from one side to the other, I would not bridge said chasm with a flimsy-looking metal walkway that didn't even have any railings. What kind of shoddy design is that? Maybe it was just badly damaged in the impact, but I don't see what could have caused it. And shouldn't the deck be made of the same material as the bridge? If so, and it still collapsed under Morvin's weight like that, then it couldn't possibly be all that strong... and I don't think I'd trust that bridge to support my weight! (The Doctor's later assertion, as it creaks and wobbles, that "It's just settling!" seems extremely generous to me.)

• Pff, Astrid! What's up with shattering Foon's last remaining hopes? I mean, sure, being realistic has its time and place, but why not let her cling to hope a little while longer? Besides, isn't there a chance that she's right? Especially in an engine room that treacherous, you'd think they'd build in some kind of safeguard for accidents.

• Now this is more realistic writing. (That'll teach Astrid to make people face up to the truth.)

  Astrid: "Just think, what would he want, eh?"
  Foon: "He don't want nothing, he's dead!"

• The halo-fight is pretty well staged... the wide shots are interesting and it looks like a harrowing experience, so I would agree that this is probably one of the most visually interesting scenes of the story.

• Converting Bannakaffalatta's EMP transmitter into a weapon is a pretty cool idea, even if it does smack of an easy way out. And I'm glad that Astrid gets to be the one to wield it!

• Now, if you were a robot technician, and you needed to build in a security protocol to get information from one of your robots (why? I don't know... but there must be a reason), would you limit that security protocol such that you could only ask three questions at a time? (or perhaps three questions, period?) That just doesn't make sense to me. And, when the Doctor confronts an entire group of Host and invokes the same security protocol, why does he only get three questions from one Host? Why not three questions from each of them?

• When Foon pulls the Host down into the engines, once it's free of the rope, why can't it just fly back out? Or did the EMP damage its flight capability?

• Nice line:

  Astrid: "Sounds like you do this kind of thing all the time."
  Doctor: "Not by choice. All I do is travel. That's all I am, just a traveller."

• Nice delivery by Tennant:

  Astrid: "So what do you think? Can I come with you?"
  Doctor: "Yeah, I'd like that, yeah."

• Groooooooooooan, cliché!

  Doctor: "Take me to your leader." (he grins) "I've always wanted to say that!"

• If Max is safely sealed away inside his indestructible chamber, and the Titanic is still suspended above the Earth, why does he come out of his chamber rather than having the Host bring the Doctor inside? If anything had happened to the Titanic while he was out wandering around, he'd have been toast.

• As skeptical as I am about the nature of the plot in this episode, I have to admit that Capricorn's plan for revenge is a pretty good one. The only part I'm not quite sure about is why he would expect the entire board to be thrown in jail for mass murder as the result of an accident that wasn't even directly their fault? Can you be thrown in jail for accidental mass murder if you weren't even on the scene? Maybe on Sto you can...

• Ha!

  Max: "I never lose!"
  Doctor: "You can't even sink the Titanic!"

• You know, it's too bad that Astrid didn't think to bring the EMP transmitter with her to deck 31. That probably would've solved all her problems, from disabling the Host to probably putting Max's life support system out of action.

• Max orders the Host to kill the Doctor, the Host removes its halo and prepares to fling... and then Astrid calls out to get Max's attention, and apparently that supercedes his orders, because the Host never does get around to killing the Doctor — it just stands and watches as Astrid kills its master.

• It seems to me that once Astrid had Max toppling over the edge, she could've leapt out the side of the forklift before it went over. Given that she didn't accomplish that, how does she end up outside the forklift as she's falling toward the engines? (Maybe she did try to jump, but didn't make it in time?)

• Wow, as the Titanic is falling toward the Earth, Mr Copper appears to get walloped on the right side of the head by a great big chunk of falling rock!

• I do have to ask, though, why the Host decide that they should now obey the Doctor. If the owner of the company is dead, wouldn't authority therefore transfer to the senior officer on board the ship (ie Frame), and then an employee (ie Mr Copper), and then a licensed passenger (ie Slade), and then a stowaway?

• Hee! Awesome:

  Doctor: "What's your first name?"
  Frame: "Alonzo."
  Doctor: "You're kidding me."
  Frame: "What?"
  Doctor: "There's something else I've always wanted to say. Allons-y, Alonzo!"

• I wonder why whomever the Doctor calls actually does put him through to Buckingham Palace! Surely your ordinary telephone operator wouldn't do that. Would they? Maybe the Doctor called UNIT.

• Awww, the Queen wears fuzzy little pink slippers. How cute! Er, I mean, regal!

• Man, for a minute there I thought we were going to be treated to the sight of the Titanic plowing through the middle of Buckingham Palace. I'm glad it was spared the indignity!

• Hee! How cool that they got Jessica Martin to voice the Queen. I certainly never would have realized it was her! I think the Queen should have said "Rarrrrrrrr!" Still, I find this line very funny:

  Queen Elizabeth II: "Thank you, Doctor! Thank you! Happy Christmas!"

• Ha! Nice visual gag, as Max's portrait falls off the wall and bursts into flames.

• I'm a little unclear as to why exactly the Doctor can't recover Astrid's pattern from the teleport. I guess I just have to accept that he couldn't... maybe there just wasn't enough power to boost her signal.

• Heh! Frame's salute must surely be one of the most lax in the entire military... but, then again, the Doctor's isn't much better!

• I don't know why I like this line so much, but I really do... it's all full of British pride, and nicely delivered:

  Doctor: "Only Britain is great."

• Yipes! So I guess we have this to look forward to:

  Mr Copper: "And they're all at war with the continent of Hamerica?"
  Doctor: "No — well, not yet."

• So, three years, three fake snows. Is this to be our new Christmas tradition? I have to say, I like it!

• Very sweet of them to dedicate this story to Verity Lambert. That made me get a little misty-eyed.

• And now, it's time for that annual favorite, the season preview! I always forget we're going to have one. And this year, we've got: Donna! Ood! Giant wasps! Agatha Christie! Sontarans! Evil priestesses! Volcanic ash! A sacrifice! And a priest! Woohoo! From this, I can tell that I'm definitely going to enjoy the Pompeii and Agatha Christie episodes, but then I knew that already.

So, for the third year in a row, we've had a relatively average tale posing as a special Christmas outing, although at least this story does feel a bit more holiday-centric than the last two. Overall, I don't think Voyage of the Damned is quite as successful as The Runaway Bride was, but the cast alone makes it worth watching. And if you're a fan of the disaster-movie genre, maybe you'll appreciate it more than I did!